WHY WE BECOME EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO OUR CARS

It’s the August bank holiday weekend and all across the UK, people are having time off and enjoying what the summer has left to offer, with a plethora of events, festivals and activities such as car shows.

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I am currently thinking about selling my car after eight years of dedicated service and am surprised at how hard I am finding it. Of course, I have changed cars in the past, but this time it is more emotional and has got me thinking about how much our cars mean to us during different phases of our lives.

You may say that your car is just an inanimate object, so how could you have a relationship with it? But even if the things around us cannot breathe or answer back, they may still hold powerful associations and trigger feelings and emotions.

About one in five Britons gives their car a pet name, so there must be something going on here. But how does a collection of metal parts capture our hearts and make saying goodbye so hard?

Space and time for us

Cars can represent a safe space and give us time just to be quiet, to be free and to be ourselves. When life gets hard, or if there is tension at home or work, or the world becomes a bit too noisy, we can retreat into our cars.

They are our own small bubbles where we can curate who comes in and out, or decide if we want any noise or to listen to anything, and where we can cry or take a deep breath. When your car door shuts, you gain a sense of privacy and time to reflect.

Making our memories

Humans are emotional beings and strong attachments are more likely to be created and solidified over time. The longer we have our cars, the more memories are created by them.

It might be the vehicle in which you passed your driving test, first kissed your wife, or brought home your newborn baby. Cars also remind us of people who perhaps are no longer with us but whom we used to drive to see, or sang songs with, or shared a road trip with.

It may be that you had a particularly difficult conversation in a car which changed your life for ever. So when you have to say goodbye to that motor, you are letting go of these events and memories too.

This can bring up all kinds of emotions and feelings that we perhaps have not previously allowed ourselves to process. Cars can also foster a sense of nostalgia, which is a nice feeling in a world of constant change.

A sense of belonging

We are social creatures who want and need a sense of belonging. When we get in our cars, we have to interact with everyone else who is in their own bubble. When we say “thank you” or share our knowledge or expertise with others who have similar interests, we feel part of something bigger than us: we connect, meet new people and have adventures.

This keeps us hungry and interested in life, and also helps us to develop a hobby that is separate to work and stress. It can be excellent for our emotional and mental health.

Mindfulness/being in the moment

Cars provide an opportunity to practice mindfulness in many different ways. When we clean our cars, we engage our minds and hands in an activity which is practical rather than mental; we get physically active and allow ourselves to just be in the moment.

While we are focused on cleaning, hoovering and wiping, there is no time to worry about the life challenges we face.

When we sing in our cars, we are in the moment. When we listen to podcasts or the radio, we are expanding our knowledge. When we drive, our attention is fully taken up by one activity, rather than having to multitask.

We also get the opportunity to travel and experience new things, new sights, new people and new areas. This variety and change of scene can really do us the world of good.

Metal with meaning

Every car you own will end up representing a phase of your life. Humans tend to assign meaning to the things around them. Your car can symbolise a sense of independence and adventure, and often a particular chapter in your story.

When we first get a new car it can symbolise the start of something new and give us a feeling of excitement and anticipation. But getting rid of one can symbolise the opposite – a sense of loss or “moving on”.

If you use your car for a long commute, you may develop a trusted partnership with it, or almost a friendship. Your car is always “there for you”, you can rely on it to take you where you want to go, and it can end up being a constant in your life in a world of uncertainty.

We can also associate emotions with cars, so if you use yours for a fun, leisurely drive on a Sunday morning, your brain will start to feel relaxed and at peace.

So next time you get into your car, maybe say a little thank you to it for bringing you a lot more than you ever thought it did, and make sure that it feels more appreciated than a collection of metal parts!

2025-08-23T06:21:49Z